Wish Us Luck!

Hey guys.

Just wanted to inform you that I won't be able to update this blog for a week (which explains the bombardment of posts). Ash and I are going up to the Great Barrier Reef. I'm really looking forward to this vacation....from our vacation. We've signed up for snorkelling, white-water rafting, camping, a waterfall tour, an Aboringinal walkabout (for all of you Lost fans out there), a rainforest excursion, and a hospital bed after all of that.

Hope all of you are well. I'll bless you guys with my completely ridiculous ramblings when I get back. Take care!

Jess

P.S. That picture has nothing to do with this post. It's just that I've been getting many emails from the ladies about posting more photos of guys. So there you are. Once again, sorry Dad.

*Some People Stand in the Darkness...*

*...afraid to step into the light....* (some fans will know what I'm talking about)



We finally headed down to the Gold Coast. There are many beaches that make up this coast, but we chose the aptly named “Surfer’s Paradise”. It’s the most popular amongst the youngins. It’s along the same lines as Miami Beach...only less seedy and more clothing.

There weren’t many surfers today because the tides were very strong. Ashleigh and I initially just went knee-deep, but slowly inched our way deeper after we saw a boy a quarter of our age and half of our height in front of us. Holy Cow! The tides literally drag you in and knock you around like rag doll. It’s no wonder why people get caught in a rip tide. It literally sucks you out. We almost lost our footing a couple of times.

Suddenly, this lifeguard appeared behind us. We turn around and pretty much gasped. How does one begin to describe a god? He was deliriously good-looking, tanned and toned, with the sun setting behind him. Like a sun god in a Speedo. The clouds parted. The larks sang. The baby Jesus smiled. It was glorious. There are just no words that would adequately express what we saw. See for yourself.



Not the best pic, but it was the best I could do from afar. He is actually younger looking in person, but age doesn’t really matter when dealing with a lifeguard does it? Also, we never thought that we would ever admire anyone in a Speedo, but there are firsts for everything right?

We dubbed him Jake Ezekiel Theone (Marisa, you know what we’re talking about).

Oh yeah, the beach was nice too.

Peace out.

Jess

P.S. Dad, please disregard this post. I’m really here to study.

Rita McNeill is Infectious

Yup, you heard me.

Yesterday night, Ashleigh and I visited a local bar/pub called “The Royal Exchange”. It is the place to be for all the university kids. Ladies, let’s just say there were plenty of fish in the sea. And it wasn’t like we were just sitting there with our fishing rods waiting for them to bite. It was more like when salmon swim upstream. They were leaping up into the air and smacking us in our faces. Not bad at all.

I always knew that Aussies were a fun-loving bunch, but not quite this…quirky. In the middle of our first drink, a spontaneous “Grease” sing-along erupted. Every person in the pub channeled their inner Travolta. It was funny and creepy at the same time. Actually, it was more creepy than funny.

Anyway, we met a couple of local Aussies. We all bonded over our mutual hatred for the States and good ol’ Dubya. Cheers to that. They were a hilarious bunch. One of them didn’t believe that Canada is its own sovereign country. He thought that it’s just another American state. Let’s hope he was completely intoxicated. The rest of them were much more coherent.

In true tourist fashion, Ash and I started to criticize one of their beloved local sports: cricket. We kept saying that it wasn’t a true sport. Then they started to bash hockey.

Oh no you didn’t.

If you step back and really compare our respective local sports, cricket has nothing on hockey. It’s like comparing a cruise ship to a rickety old dingy. Where’s the full body contact? Where’s the slashing? Where’s the blood? This was when they all moved slightly away from us.

There was one guy, Nathan, who just took the cake. He told us that his mother was Canadian (from Winnipeg actually), so he knows a little about Canada. As Ashleigh started to talk to him, he brought up Bryan Adams, Degrassi Junior High, the Blue Jays, and…Rita McNeill. Yes, the woman with the Christmas specials on every season. That’s what we’re known for around the world guys! Hold your heads up high! Then he broke out in a Rita McNeill song stating that she was just so darn infectious.

Uh-huh.

That one is going down in the books.

Good bunch of guys. Very warm and friendly. Bad taste in sports though.

Peace out.

Jess

New words learnt: 1 (mozzies = mosquitoes)
Rita McNeill fans: 1 (give me time)

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Boy, oh Boy!

It was our mission to really celebrate Australia Day as the locals would celebrate it. So, to ensure that our first ever Australia Day would be “Oz-some” (too cheesy?), we asked a local taxi driver for some ideas. We thought we would have to travel to the outback, boomerang a kangaroo, and then grill it up on the Barbie all the while scoping out a killer wave for the best surf. Not surprisingly, he said no. He told us to go to Southbank, a district across the harbour from the city that was offering many events and activities. That was our best bet.

They offered free ferry rides around the city harbour. We missed them. They offered free tours of the Government House. We missed them. They offered a spectacular fireworks show by the boardwalk. We missed them. They offered an Australia-themed parade. We saw 5 minutes of it. Prime example of how our timing is fundamentally off…..or how God hates us.


Later on in the night, we decided to go to a bar. The Plough Inn is in the middle of Southbank. It is the be-all and end-all of bars. Let me tell you, it was packed with revelers looking to ring in the birth of their beloved country that started off hundreds of years ago as a convict farm. Flags, face paint, and oodles of pints. There was a live band, a massive group huddle, and a conga line. It’s obvious that they busted out the big guns for this party.

Throughout the week leading up to this day, rumour had it that an American navy aircraft carrier had docked in Brisbane for a couple of days. Well, it turned out to be true. We mingled with some of the American sailors at The Plough before they had to return to their carrier. I know what you're thinking ladies. No, they were not in uniform. Remember, God is not fond of us very much.

Oh, scary sidenote: a couple of days after Australia Day, the news broadcasted a story about how a fighter jet crashed off an American carrier off the coast of Brisbane. I’m pretty sure it was the fleet we met. Luckily though, it was reported that no one got hurt.

So, that was Australia Day for you. We missed practically every planned event and spent the majority of the day with Americans. Doesn’t get any more Australian than that.

Peace out.

Jess

“Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oi, Oi, Oi!” screams: more than 50
Number of Australian flags acquired: 3
How many people God hates: 2

An Inverted Bluth

Hey guys.

This post is specifically geared towards fans of Arrested Development (i.e. Val, Marisa, Johanna, Melissa, Greg, Mike, Frank, Bob Loblaw, T. Funke, Mrs. Featherbottom, and any other fan).



It’s a banana stand!!!!! However, the banana is injected with chocolate and not dunked in chocolate. But a banana stand is a banana stand.

Huzzah!

Jess

Cutoffs seen on Aussies: 2
Liza Minelli sightings: 0 (give me time)

Fuzz, Fur, & Feathers

Yesterday was a great day. We went to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary and we got our photos taken with those fuzzy koalas. They are so freaking soft and cuddly.

Hey there, watch your hand buddy.

They have around 130 koalas on site because each koala can only have a photo op that lasts no more than 30 mins because they have to eat…..or they’re just divas. Apparently, they sleep for about 18 hours and eat for the rest of the day. Where can I sign up?

We also went into the Kangaroo Reserve. It felt like we had stepped directly into the wild. The kangaroos were just roaming around and lounging in the shade.

A little closer.....

Touchdown!

It was amazing. All I needed at the moment was a Foster’s beer, a Didgeridoo playing in the background, a boomerang, and Steve Irwin to bring my Australian moment full circle.

We walked around a little more and saw other animals: dingoes, wombats, wallabies, crocodiles, and emus. Good ol’ emus. All I could think about was The Barenaked Ladies’ song, “If I Had A Million Dollars”.

Oh, and I captured a Kodak moment. Australia and Canada embodied in two charming animals.

Just the two of us.

Peace out.

Jess

Koala sightings: 60 (mission accomplished)
Kangaroo sightings: 50 (mission accomplished)
Popsicles eaten: 1 (mission incomplete....999 more to go)

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this is what happens when Ash and I leave Canada?

Jess

Changing of the Guard

Spent the day lounging at the man-made beach in the city. It was great. There are little lagoons off to the side of the main beach, but we stayed where the fun (cute boys) was located.

There was a group of pretty rambunctious Japanese children thrashing around in the water. They were every lifeguard’s nightmare. Then, to the morbid joy of everyone on the beach, one of them seemed to be struggling in the water. Wait, hear me out. We didn’t want the kid to die, we just wanted to see a lifeguard in action. He was David Hasselhoff incarnate. He just dove in and plucked the kid out of the water. It was magical.

The whole “beach in the middle of a bustling city” is a lovely idea. Work in the morning and tan on the beach during your lunch break. The Australians have the whole Mediterranean mentality going on. Siestas everyday. They don’t seem to like to work. Right at 5pm, (usually earlier but never later) stores close and everyone is rushing off to restaurants, beaches, or home. They practically plough you over in attempt to get as far away from work as possible. Even automated phone lines have hours of operation. Apparently they need a break too. I can really learn to love this lifestyle. One of you will have to come and drag me back.

Peace out.

Jess

Koala Sightings: 0

Sunburns: 0 (give me time)

Do I have the power to knight people?

So, Ash and I were just watching some television a couple of nights ago. We were enjoying the Golden Globes when Ash let out an ear-piercing scream. I know Charlize Theron’s dress was not the greatest, but was a scream necessary? She just pointed out to the balcony and we saw our first visitor. A cute and scary little thing. Don’t exactly know what it was. But he’s the first guy to make it to our balcony. He deserves some points there.

We dubbed him Sir Charles Edward 3rd.

Peace out.

Jess

Animal sightings: 1
Blood-curdling screams: 1

Found Nemo and Ate Him

What do you get when you have put a cute white girl in the bustling streets of Hong Kong? Quite a sight.

Ashleigh braved the hectic and crazy sea of Chinese people that is Hong Kong with flying colours. Being Chinese I’m used to eating everything under the sun, but Ash surprised me. She ate everything Hong Kong had to offer. Bear bile, dog feet, and ox testicles. Okay, that was a lie, but she did try her hand at authentic Vietnamese cuisine. That included an entire grilled fish served piping hot with sweet chili sauce.



That’s quite the upgrade from chicken balls and spring rolls. I’m so proud.

Peace out.

Jess

Hours of sleep: 5
Kangaroo Sightings: 0

Mushrooms & Capsicum

Those zany Aussies.

After two whole days of airplane food, crying babies, no leg room, and a 12 hour layover in Hong Kong, Ashleigh and I finally reached our destination: Brisbane. It was quite the tedious journey, but well worth it.

Once we arrived at our apartment, we didn't even know where to start. Jet lag wore off. We were running on pure adrenaline. How were we to dispense of this newfound energy? Do we dive straight into the pool? Do we hop on the nearest bus that takes us into the city? Do we walk around and explore our new digs? Nope. We did something so crazy that I was debating if I should even mention it in this blog.

We ordered pizza....from Pizza Hut. Stop the madness!

People here don't seem to eat a lot. The largest size pizza we could order was a large. No party size for us hungry Canadians. Ordering it was easy enough. The only problem was that the phone operator didn't know what "green peppers" were. Um.....okay. After a few minutes of trying to decipher what I was saying, he realized what I meant. Capsicum is what they call a green pepper here. Once again, those zany Aussies.

After filling our stomachs, we finally decided to walk around our new neighbourhood. We live in Taringa, a quiet suburb about 10 minutes away from the city centre. Boy, what a difference 10 minutes can make. Let's just say it's no Thornhill....which isn't saying much.

Anyway, after a long, sweaty walk in the Australian heat, we decided to head home and pass out.....at 8:00pm. Party animals I tell ya.

Peace out.

Jess

Koala sightings: 0
New words learnt: 1
Showers: 2